Thumbs

You're gonna have to follow me a little bit on this one.

A couple of weeks ago, I looked out onto my little back patio and saw that it has been overtaken by spiderwebs. Everywhere. With a groan, I realized that soon-very soon-I am going to have to take a broom to that entire area and knock out every spider web. I think Charlotte was cool and all, but I don't want her relatives living in my patio.

So, following this realization and imminent eviction plan, I thought that while I was out there, maybe I should plant something, like flowers, or vegetables, or something else that's green and is supposed to grow. I mean, the space has a tree, some weeds (which have since arrived right next to the tree-looking at that picture, I just realized they weren't there when I moved in), and a whole lot of dirt right now. Plants would make it pretty out there.

Let me back up and tell you that every time I have bought or been given a potted plant/flower/whatever, it has died. Without fail. Even when I try my very hardest to keep it alive. My thumbs are nowhere near green, or even brown. They are black. My boyfriend thought I was kidding when told him this. Then his mom gave me a beautiful potted orchid for my birthday. I read the care directions word for word, put it outside to get some of the direct sunlight the tag said it needed, and......Santa Ana winds knocked it over, spilled all the dirt, and destroyed it. And Ryan laughed (ok, I did too.) And he proceeded to agree with me that maybe plants just aren't my thing.

My mom has a very green thumb. She's growing tomatoes, apples, mint, basil, rosemary, yadda yadda yadda on her little patio. Why didn't I get that gene?

So, considering my history with green, living things, I'm more than a little hesitant about picking up anything at the local garden center. But is it possible to grow out of the Black Thumb Curse? Or is it a life sentence? How many innocent plant lives will have to be sacrificed for me to find out? Do I pull the trigger, or just knock the cobwebs away and be content....with.....dirt?

Whoa...

I have this new route I've been running the last few Saturdays. It's right along Pacific Coast Highway, and I have a front-row, unobstructed view of the Pacific Ocean every step of my 6 mile round trip.

A couple weeks ago, I was jogging along around mile 4-ish, and getting a little tired. I thought, "3 years ago, I couldn't run this distance at all. I couldn't even run 1 mile. I wouldn't have even been able to walk for 6 miles straight." Then, it hit me that that was a cop out. Three years ago, I could have walked that distance, maybe even run a good bit of it, I just didn't know I could. I didn't know then that I was capable of pushing myself physically, that I was capable of 5K's, and 10K's, and not one but two half marathons (and more to come). I didn't know, because I'd never tried, and I had been scared.

Whoa. That was a revelation. Then God hit me with the bigger part of that: What am I not doing now because I don't think I'm able to do it, and just don't know that I actually can? I still haven't figured out the answer to that. What do I "just not know I can" do now? What am I scared of failing at now? What's outside my comfort zone, because it takes work, and sweat, and some pain, that really is possible?

Those are some questions I might be sitting on for a little while. I do know that this little revelation has given me the energy to keep runnning when I just want to stop on that gorgeous running route I mentioned earlier. "You're capable of more" keeps echoing in my head; when my voice says it, I'm talking about running. When God's voice says it, though, I have a feeling it means much, much more.

Neglected

So perhaps it's time for an update....especially since my last post was over 2 months ago. In that amount of time, I have:

-Done a 2nd half-marathon
-Finished 2 Action Research Projects so that I could....
-Finish my special education credential
-Survived a March of 15 IEP meetings
-Agreed to be this year's Director of VBS at church
-Enjoyed a relaxing week of Spring Break (come back!)
-Been able to spend every weekend with my studly, awesome, and patient boyfriend
-Started Beth Moore's Esther Bible study...which is seriously the best thing ever. Amazon and iTunes-buy it! Do it! It's incredible.
-Decided that Blind Side is quite possibly one of the best movies ever made.
-Hopped on the quinoa bandwagon after every health magazine in America raved about it's apparent new status as a superfood. It's alright.


There you have it. Little blessings, big blessings, ups, downs, some stress, some rest....Life is good. Hope yours is too.

OSL!

Oxnard. Now, I will admit, the name of this place is, well, less than pretty. It doesn't roll off the tongue so much as it just stumbles and face-plants (hence the re-naming of certain things as "Mandalay" whatever). But as un-flattering as the name is, the essence of this sleepy little beach town is serenity. All it takes for me to unwind is to flip on my right turn signal and merge into the exit lane on the freeway toward Oxnard. By the time I've sailed through two intersections, I'm on vacation mode. L.A., traffic, school, stress...they've all been left behind on the 101 freeway. Even if it's just for a couple of days, my world consists only of sand, surf, sleep, snuggling (yeah, I know, I'm kind of a fan of cuddles), and Starbucks (it wouldn't be fabulous if it didn't have that, too!).

I can't count the times I've walked down to the beach (oh, right, did I mention that the house is a block from the sand?) hand-in-hand with my honey to do a surf check, climbed these dunes, and gazed out over endless blue Pacific. Whether the waves are good or not, it's still gorgeous. Sometimes the water is a somber gray, and sometimes it's a happy almost-turquoise.

I have run on this very path, Gwen Stefani in my ear, with wide-open views of the ocean on my right and a busy, family park full of green grass on my left. Does it get any better?

And then, at the end of a day of late morning lattes, outings to the dog park, and Dominoes up on the roof deck, you get sunsets like this. Seriously. Hopefully some day I'll get to call myself a true OSL.

P.S.-That's Oxnard Shores Local, for you inlanders...;)

Clear Mirrors and Sore Thumbs

January has been a big month for me. I moved out of my parents' house and I now have my very own apartment. This means that I am now solely responsible for supporting myself-paying bills, buying groceries, taking out the trash, unloading the dishwasher, and making sure I don't run out of toilet paper. HOWEVER (notice the all caps there?), this also means that I have re-discovered so many awesome things about living BY MYSELF. And I'm slightly enjoying it....ok, flippin' loving it.
I love watching whatever I want to on TV.
I love showering with the bathroom door open so the mirror doesn't get all fogged up.
I love being in control of the food that comes into my home.
I love being able to do homework alongside my boyfriend without having to be concerned about anyone else.
I love picking out my own laundry detergent and fabric softener.
I love having my treadmill in the same room as the cable tv.
I love being able to walk around stark naked if I want to.
I love not having to be considerate about telling anyone when I'll be home and if I'll be eating dinner with them.
I love burning as many scented candles as I want to.
I love coming home and getting to chill out without having to be polite to anyone.
I love banging my thumb with the hammer while trying to hang pictures by myself.
I love having a guaranteed, covered parking spot every night.

But honestly, I wouldn't have the opportunity to love all these things as joyfully as I am without parents who have supported, loved, encouraged, and taught me how to be independent. So, I have to add to that list that I love that I have wise parents who have selflessly guided me to be stable financially, emotionally, and spiritually. They're pretty dang cool, and I am one blessed girl.
So, cheers to new chapters. I'm likin' this story.

An Honor

There are some people who are seemingly very far removed from your life, yet manage to have a big impact on you. In the last year and (almost) a half, I have encountered one such lady. Now, this is one bizarre connection in the world of degrees of separation. But, rarely have I met a woman of such grace, faith, warmth, and openneess as the mother of one of my boyfriend's ex-girlfriends. In fact, my boyfriend loves this woman (Mrs. D) so much that he has stayed in touch with her since he broke up with her daughter years ago. I now fully understand why.

This past Monday, Mrs. D's husband passed away as a result of ALS/Lou Gehrig's Disease. For the entire 2 years he battled the disease, this woman took care of him, her faith in God's strength to carry them through it never wavering. Two days before Christmas, my boyfriend and I stopped by to see them, and honestly, I was nervous, because this was an ex's parents (whom I'd met only once before), and we were going to their house. Awkward. But from the moment we stepped through the door, she was nothing but gracious, inviting, and warm. How many women would so graciously welcome their daughter's ex-boyfriend and his current girlfriend into her house while her husband was, essentially, on his last few days on earth? I was floored.

Today, we went to her husband's memorial service. While sharing about their life together, this woman of God said something that had me nearly sobbing, though I hardly know this family at all. She said, "It was a privilege to fulfill my wedding vows so completely."

The "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health" parts became real in their lives, and she lived them out with honor and grace. I have spent probably a grand total of 2-3 hours in this woman's presence ever in my life, but it only takes a couple of minutes for her strength and warmth to become contagious to those around her. She and her family are much beloved, because she (and they) loves. Selflessly. I consider it an honor to know this woman even a little bit. It was definitely a "wow" kind of day.

It's fun to stay at the YMCA

Some stuff I love about my YMCA:

1. Those treadmills are some hearty, stout machines. They can take all kinds of abuse and still keep on runnin' (ha-get it?!).

2. The little old ladies that sit on the bikes for an hour and move their legs about 5 times per minute are adorable (I might add that their mouths move much faster than their legs-this is quite the social scene for them, I gather).

3. There are no tiny little bikini models in skin-tight pants with their boobs hanging out. At the YMCA, the tiny little bikini models at least have the decency to dress modestly.

4. (This should be #1, really) I can go to any YMCA with Ryan and we can have treadmill dates...so cute!

5. The weight machines are as luxurious as weight machines get.

Some stuff I don't love about my YMCA (but I think some of these might happen no matter what gym I might be in):

1. We have no audio for the TVs that are so conveniently placed above the cardio equipment. Sad.

2. The people who choose the stationary bike directly behind my running butt when every other bike (and treadmill) is wide open, bug me. Really? You really want to stare at my backside for 30 minutes or so? Wow.

3. When people "cheat" by jumping onto the side rails of the moving treadmill (instead of pausing) to take a break, fix their hair, do their nails, or whatever. The point is, those are not honest calories or distances, people! Just press "pause!" Your personal trainer would be all over you for that!

4. Um....I'm out of things I don't like. I'm now a die-hard, gym-loving girl. I love it. Try it-seriously. It's fabulous.